Love; an expression of divine acceptance that Jesus Christ demonstrated when He took away our sins on the cross. It’s a selfless act that He calls us to show others. But before we extend that love outward, it must begin within. A powerful revelation to practice in your single season.
The Bible tells us in Mark 12:31, “Love your neighbor as yourself.” This implies that the way we love ourselves determines how well we can love others. You can’t pour from an empty cup, and that’s why learning how to love yourself in your single season is essential.
Why Loving Yourself Matters in your Single Season
It’s hard to give love when you haven’t embraced your own value. This is especially true in romantic relationships. As believers, we’re called to reflect God’s love through our actions. That starts with a deep, intimate relationship with Him, before anyone else.
When God is your foundation, He will guide you through the Holy Spirit to the right partner, someone who complements your purpose. Yes, loneliness can creep in, especially when the desire for marriage and children burns strongly. But trust that God’s timing is perfect, and the Holy Spirit offers comfort and peace in the waiting.
Don’t measure yourself by the pressures and timelines that people and society may place upon you because, you were created with a divine plan of God. Trust that during this time, He is perfecting and growing in you the character and spiritual walk that you will need in your next season, so, in the meantime:
Here’s how you can make the most of your single season and truly love yourself the way God intended:
Also Read: How to Be a Proverbs 31 Woman in Your Single Season
Signs Of An Ungodly Relationship
8 Signs This Is The Relationship God Wants You To Be In
1. Get Closer to God in your single season
Your single season is the perfect time to deepen your relationship with God. Let Him shape your heart, guide your desires, and prepare you for your future spouse. Marriage is God’s idea, and it’s better to align with His perfect will than to follow fleeting emotions.
When you find your purpose in Christ, it becomes easier to discern a God-ordained relationship from a distraction. Seek Him first, and all else will follow (Matthew 6:33).
2. Embrace Self-Acceptance
True self-love begins with accepting who you are in Christ. Stop comparing your journey to others. God has a unique assignment for your life, and each season has a divine purpose.
Trying to rush the process shows a lack of trust in God’s timing. Instead, learn the lessons He’s teaching you now. Your current season is preparation for the miracles ahead.
3. Heal from the Past
Unhealed wounds can block your blessings. Your single season is the time to address past traumas, let go of toxic relationships, and allow God to heal you fully.
When you’re whole, you can set healthy boundaries and recognize what’s meant for you. Healing helps you love from a place of freedom, not fear.
4. Practice Your Love Languages
Understanding how you want to be loved helps you teach others how to love you. Self-love is your responsibility. Learn your love languages, whether it’s acts of service, words of affirmation, or quality time, and give those to yourself.
People can’t be your source of happiness, only God can. When you’re fulfilled in Him, love becomes an overflow, not a demand.
5. Build Godly Friendships
Proverbs 27:9 (NIV) says, “Perfume and incense bring joy to the heart, and the pleasantness of a friend springs from their heartfelt advice.”
Godly friendships are a blessing during your single season. Surround yourself with people who encourage your walk with Christ, pray with you, and offer Holy Spirit-led counsel. These relationships will keep you grounded and help you navigate future romantic relationships with wisdom and accountability.
Your single season is not a curse, it’s a calling.
A time to grow, heal, and love yourself as God loves you. Embrace it. Use it to build a strong foundation in Christ. The right person will come, but until then, love yourself well, because you are already chosen, accepted, and deeply loved by God.
With Love, from your sister in the Lord
Annie Chikonjiwe
Not a woman, haha. But, still good stuff. I do have a few questions, though.
Does God “guide us through the Holy Spirit to the right partner”? I don’t know about that. The Bible doesn’t say anything about that. The Bible has a lot to say about what the Holy Spirit does. Where, exactly, does it say that the Holy Spirit guides us to a spouse?
The Bible doesn’t say anything about “soulmates” or “The One.” That idea comes from Greek philosophy and mythology. When Paul talks about marriage in 1 Corinthians 7, he doesn’t say anything about soulmates. In verse 39, he even writes that a widow “is at liberty to be married to whom she wishes,” as long as he’s a Christian. Doesn’t sound like Paul believed in “soulmates,” apparently, or had any divine revelations about them.
In Matthew, Jesus clearly states that some people won’t get married (19:10-12) The Bible has good things to say about both marriage and singleness. When Paul talks about this (1 Corinthians 7), he writes that, if you’re single and struggle to control sexual desires, you should try to get married. In this case, the Bible encourages marriage. It does not, however, promise that it’ll work out for you if you do decide to pursue it. He does say that not everyone has the gift of singleness. But I’m sure that there’s many who lack this gift who, despite everything, still don’t find mates.
Should you “get closer to God in your single season”? Well, sure, but we should be doing that all the time.
A lot of the time, when you’re single, people tell you to “take advantage” of it because you can apparently “serve more.” You have more “time” to serve. You have more “time for the Lord,” as this article puts it.
I think lot of this comes from a certain take (a misinterpretation, in my view) on what Paul writes in 1 Corinthians 7:32-35. Paul basically says that an unmarried person is devoted to the Lord and not distracted by the needs of his spouse. This is then interpreted by some to mean that a person can do “more ministry” as a single. I don’t think that’s what Paul says here. I mean, if that’s the case, why are all the pastors and church elders typically married? Did they make a mistake? Is marriage getting in the way of their ministry? What Paul says here, I believe, is that if you AREN’T distracted by the desire for marriage, then MAYBE you have the gift of singleness.
“Trying to rush the process shows a lack of trust in God’s timing.” I’m not sure about this, either. That’s a rather sweeping statement. Why shouldn’t we take action when it comes to our goals? For instance, when you’re a Christian and you’re unemployed, other Christians will urge you to take action and be proactive. Not sit around waiting for “God’s timing” and for God to bring you a job. Why is dating any different? God doesn’t make us any guarantees that He’ll give us a romantic partner.
Often when you’re single, and you express frustration, or you take action to find a partner, other Christians will chide you for not “trusting God” enough. But how can you trust God to fulfill a promise He never made you?
Hey James thank you so much for your comment…. while there is no specific verse that says the Holy spirit will guide you to you the right person, the Holy spirit will give everyone discernment and guidance either through the word of God (bible) or other Holy ways that He sees fitting for each individual. My post specifically is for those that want marriage in the future and giving them ways on not to idealize the marriage itself, but rather focus on bettering themselves and their relationship with Jesus while they are in their waiting season.
OK.
I don’t mean to attack your ideas or anything. I just wonder about the whole idea that God controls who we marry, or plays an active role in introducing romantic partners into our lives.
When you’re a Christian and you express the desire for romance/marriage/intimacy, people say things like that all the time, because it sounds great and because they’re trying to cheer you up. But I’ve always wondered how much truth there really is to these sorts of ideas.
Then again, I’ve been single for far longer than I ever wanted, so maybe I’m just becoming cynical.