Like many of you, I grew up hearing elders say, “Don’t have sex—because it’s bad.” Their intentions were good, but the message often came across as fear-based rather than faith-based.
As I entered adulthood, I began to understand where they were coming from. When a child hears that sex is “bad” from someone they trust, especially within a Christian household, it can lead to a mental and spiritual conflict when they begin to feel sexual emotions, which are natural and God-given.
The Problem: Misinformation, Guilt, and Cultural Confusion
When young people hit puberty, they start to feel natural desires. But instead of being guided biblically, many are left with a conflicting voice in their heads saying that sex is evil. This disconnect creates a war between the flesh and the spirit.
Some ignore the warnings and engage in premarital sex, often followed by guilt, especially if they come from Bible-believing Christian homes. Yes, God forgives us when we repent, but the emotional consequences and spiritual disconnect can be deep.
Meanwhile, society has opened floodgates to a version of sex that is far removed from God’s design leading both youth and adults away from biblical truth.
So how do we address this as a Christian community?
By returning to the Word of God.
Returning to God’s Word
1. Sex is Worship to God
Sex within marriage is more than a physical act, it’s spiritual, emotional, and sacred. Genesis 2:24 tells us that a man and woman become “one flesh,” reflecting a holy unity similar to worship. It’s a form of surrender, just as we surrender to God.
Being “naked and unashamed” is not just physical vulnerability, but emotional intimacy. Praying before sex may sound strange to the world, but it aligns our hearts with God’s will, even in our most intimate moments.
2. Sex is Not for Self-Gain
In a culture that glorifies fornication and multiple partners, it’s important to remember: God never intended sex to be used for personal pleasure or selfish ambition.
Self-pleasuring, hookup culture, and lust-driven relationships lead to spiritual distractions and emotional consequences. God designed sex to glorify Him, not to satisfy every fleeting desire.
Also Read: Is Masturbation Harmless or a Sin? A Christian Perspective
3. Sex is for a Married Man and Woman
Genesis 2:24 makes it clear, God’s blueprint for sex and marriage is one man and one woman. Marriage is the covenant space where sex fulfills its purpose: emotional bonding, worship, and procreation.
This union creates “Godly seed” (Malachi 2:15), children who will grow up knowing and honoring the Lord. Anything outside of this divine model, no matter how normalized by society, is not part of God’s original plan.
4. Same-Sex Sexual Behavior is Not Biblical
We often hear, “Love is love.” While love transcends color, class, and culture, it does not redefine God’s boundaries.
Scripture is clear on this topic:
These passages aren’t about hate, they’re about truth and alignment with God’s Word. We are all called to repentance and transformation, no matter the sin.
5. Sex is a Gift from God
Everything God creates is good, including sex. It strengthens intimacy, deepens love, and brings life into the world. But it must be received within the boundaries of marriage to be a true blessing.
Waiting isn’t punishment, it’s preparation. It teaches trust, self-control, and ultimately brings deeper joy in marriage.
6. Sex is Not Man-Made
Culture has twisted sex into entertainment and profit. From explicit music to internet exploitation, the enemy has taken what God made pure and turned it into a tool for destruction.
But as children of God, we’re called to stand apart. That includes guarding our bodies, minds, and relationships.
God Wants to Be Involved in Every Part of Your Life—including Your Sex Life
We serve a God who cares about every detail, including our sexuality. The Bible isn’t silent on the subject. In fact, it gives us a clear path for how to honor God through it.
Let’s not allow the world to define what God has already established.
Instead:
- Let’s teach our youth the truth of God’s design.
- Let’s hold each other accountable in grace and love.
- And most importantly, let’s submit even our sexual desires to the Lord who created us.
Final Thoughts
Sex isn’t bad—it’s sacred.
It isn’t sinful—it’s set apart for covenant.
It isn’t shameful—it’s a gift when used as God intended.
Let’s reclaim sex in the Christian community, not by silence or fear, but by truth, love, and biblical conviction.
Also Read: Signs Of An Ungodly Relationship
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