SIGNS THEY ARE NOT YOUR KINGDOM SPOUSE

Unless it is not your desire to find a long-lasting healthy relationship, I think we all dream of this and pray to God to bless us with a good spouse truth be told, sooner than later

While God’s timing is perfect and we all know He is not in the business of rushing things that are meant to give Him glory

We also can admit that it gets difficult and frustrating when we think we have met the person that will help us fulfil the purpose that God has for us on earth but only to be met by disappointment

It is not easy to date is this new culture that we are in especially as believers, but we are to be encouraged that we have the Holy spirit to guide us and help us identify who is suitable for us and our purpose

While God will never force us to marry someone out of your free will, He also loves it when we allow Him to be a part of the journey when we are choosing a perfect spouse for us

Does that mean that this spouse will be perfect? No, because no one is perfect and we have all fallen short of the glory of God

It however gets easier because God created all of us, He knows us better than we know ourselves, and with the guidance of the Holy Spirit who is all wisdom, He would help us quickly identify the red flags in someone

And save us the heartache that we were about to put ourselves through. With the act of patience and relationship with God, it will be easier to spot out these signs that they are not the person God thinks is best for you

They give you mixed signals- God is not the author of confusion, and as believers who are submitted to Him, we ought to Understand that God will never bring another person in our lives that will confuse us

The person who God has for you will be like wise, they will not say one thing and do the other, like I mentioned they will not be perfect as they will fall short sometimes

But their actions towards you should bring more clarity to your life than confusion and mixed feelings. They should not be able to hide anything from you as they must be open and honest towards their intentions towards you and vice versa

They are emotionally unavailable- we all want to have a partner that will understand our emotional needs and be able to fulfil them, from our love languages to words of encouragement when we are low

And by all means am I saying that we should emotionally depend on them for complete joy and happiness as no one is able to give us that except God

What I’m saying is they should be one of the vessels of God that are front and center that will give us emotional encouragement, they will lead us to Christ and Love and demonstrate to us the way Christ loves the Church consistently

And if you are the one who is always initiating conversations and always showing interest in things first without any reciprocation it gets frustrating and brings about withdraw towards the person

Relationships are not hard, but they are hard work, it has to take both ends of the party to bring out effort for the relationship to work and if only one party is doing the pursuing, then that’s a red flag

They don’t seem to align with your purpose– a partner is not only supposed to make us believe in true love and give us the romantic feelings we die to experience

They are supposed to help us fulfill that which God has placed in our lives to fulfil. If we look in the bible, we can see couples that God ordained, from Adam and eve to Mary and Joseph to Sarah and Abraham

Although each individual influential in their own right, but when they came together the glory of God was seen in their unions 

And that is what God wants for us as well, as believers, we can have the ability to throw away our purpose just because we chose the wrong person

So, if your values and goals do not align with the person that you hope to spend the rest of your life with, then you need to reconsider that relationship

Because, after submitting our life to Christ, our purpose is very important while we are still on earth as it is the one that brings about non-believers to know about God and His kingdom, His intended plan for us here on earth

They pull you away from God- the person that God wants you to be with will love God more than you, what does this mean? It means that they will push you to the things of God because of how much they love Him

It’s easy to fall in love with the personality of a person because that’s the first thing that they present to us. And as time goes by, their character begins show.

By then, we would fallen in love with their personality that it becomes hard to see with red flags in their character

So, if you find yourself drawing away from God and the things of God while you are in the relationship, then you need to step away from it

There is no friendship in the union- a friendship type of love is the best type of relationship to have. I’ve mentioned this in my post 8 SIGNS HIS YOUR KINGDOM SPOUSE that eighty percent of marriage is friendship

And that’s why it is very important for two people to explore friendship before taking it to the next level

Because a friend is someone you can be comfortable with, someone you can share intimate details with without feeling judged, it is during the friendship stages that trust and loyalty are formed

Because romantic feelings have a way of bringing out reservation and shyness on what to say and how to act, hence, masking the true colors of a person

I would encourage you to take time and know someone on a friendship base and then see if you would like to take things to the next level, and if not, it’s still a win for you because you will still have a friend around

There is no confirmation from God- this does not mean that you now have to over spiritualize the situation and look for signs and wonders everywhere, from numbers to false prophets to certain words they will say or if they show up wearing a certain color

God wants to be a part of our decision making because the person that He wants us to be with should have God values and the Spirit of God in them and thus produce the fruit of the spirit (love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control Galatians 5vs 22-23)

For the ladies, a man should be able to show that sacrificial kind of love and must be willing to love her as Christ loves the church Ephesians 5 vs 28

And for the men, a women should show a submissive character and must be able to give you respect just as you begin your union because in that, you will be able to determine if she will be able to sustain it in marriage as the bible instructs us in Ephesians 5 vs 24