Allow me to first not overlook that feeling hurt over a situation is justified. Betrayal is real and most times it comes from people we would least expect it from
You are allowed to feel what you’re feeling while processing and coming to terms with the things that happened
The bible clearly states in Psalms 34 vs 18 NIV that “The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit”
However, it is not right to stay in the same mental space for a long time trying to comprehend what happened or why it had to happen to you of all people
Like the bible continually tells us that we were not promised a smooth life here on earth
But be grateful to also know that for every hurt and disappointment that we feel or go through once surrendered to God
A very beautiful testimony can come out from it
Be encouraged to know that there is a beautiful life awaiting us once we surrender our pain and allow God to heal us and let Him give us the grace to forgive those that have hurt us
And just as a beautiful life awaits us when we forgive, a life of sorrow and pain also await us when we choose to forever hold on to the pain and grudges that were caused by the people who hurt us
Purpose in our life begins when we are fully surrendered in Christ and living with a full spirit of Love and compassion
It is also important to remember that forgiveness does not mean that the memories of the situation will be erased, but the beauty is that now that you have chosen to surrender them to God
They will no longer trigger your life and cause you react to them in a negative way
Note however that enemy will want to continually bring them up in many ways so that you revert back to your old ways but be rest assured that Jesus is control of them now
And you will need to lean on Him even closer for the strength
1 Peter 5vs 7 NIV says “Cast all your anxiety on Him because He cares for you
God wants us to give Him our hurt and allow for Him to give us the strength to forgive. But what happens if we don’t? how does this change the next trajectory of our life?
- God will not also forgive us
In as much as we’ve been hurt and yes, we are the innocent ones in the given situation
It also important to come to down to reality and come to terms with the fact that we too aren’t perfect human beings
We are all sinners saved by His grace and mercy so we are also bound to fall short at some point
In the Lord’s prayer in Mathew 6, a very profound prayer point was made in verse 12“Forgive us our debts as we have forgiven our debtors”
Meaning in a world full of sin and unjust people, one of the ways we could learn to live in full solidarity with one another is through forgiveness
During our healing journey, it also important to open our heart to be selfless in the situation, yes it hurts us right now and truth be told
Sometimes we may ask God to cause harm on the people that hurt us while he gives us a blissful happy ever after
But we don’t know what’s happening in their hurts as well, they too may be asking for forgiveness over the situation because have come to a pivotal moment of realization of the hurt they caused
It is very selfish of us to ask for forgiveness from God but feel crushed upon knowing the fact that God will forgive them for what they did to us when they plead to him
At the end of the day ,both of us will be sinners needing grace from God and both petitions to Him will require the same forgiveness when surrendered
2. You will forever carry around the victim mentality
How unfair it is to yourself to move around carrying trauma all your life when freedom awaits you soon as you accept things for they are, then let go and let God
You can’t always want to be identified as the person that is trauma driven
You can’t love from a place of hurt and victim mentality because you will always be wanting for people to fill the voids that you are lacking
Victimizing yourself is very dangerous to carry around because it means that you will always be emotionally taking from people without giving back
You will always be looking for faults in others and coming up with unrealistic expectations for them to fulfil all because of the walls you created based on your old experiences
You deserve love and to give love and it can only happen when you allow God heal you and change your mindset towards your negative experiences
3. It leads to sin
The bible tells us in Hebrews 10 vs 30 that vengeance is for the Lord. So, what does this mean for us?
You attempting to hurt back the people that did you wrong is registered as sin in God’s eyes because its not your place to do that
When you carry around unforgiveness , it is very easy for you to be tempted by the enemy to get back at the people that hurt you so they also get the test of the pain you’re feeling
Even though the bible tells us not to do so in Proverbs 24vs 29 NIV “Do not say, I will do to him as he has done to me; I will pay the man back for what he has done”
What we need to understand as believers is that God is a perfect judge. He knows the perfect punishment for the sinners that choose to go against His principles
His vengeance is far much more effective as compared to what you had planned towards the situation
Yes it might be difficult to hand it over to God because we want to see the people that hurt us immediately get a taste of their own medicine
But is also important to remember that His timing for things is always perfect
Yes, it may take weeks, months or even years, but trust and believe that justice by God will always be served
4. It distances you from God
Allowing God to heal you from the pain and unforgiveness you’re carrying means you have to lean on Him daily
But using your own strength to do things will make you fall short and feel frustrated
Unforgiveness like I mentioned leads to vengeance and having a heart of vengeance means you haven’t surrendered it to God to take control over your life in general
This means that you will not be getting instructions from God on how to move from the situation but using your broken emotional capacity to try seek justice
It’s true that you can’t fight fire with fire, because there will be no one to win in this situation as only more hurt will be caused because there is no satisfaction in things outside of God
Doing this indicates that you have decided to be the god of your life and see fit the outcome of situations instead of letting God handle things
It will basically means you with limited power and capacity will try to compete with a God of endless power and we all know how the story will end
You will always be in competition with God’s word and it will lead to you to distancing yourself from Him because you will feel unloved by Him when you try to write your own story
Instead of letting Him play things out the way they should turn out
In closing, I just want to remind you that surrendering our hurt and allowing God to help us forgive is very vital not only to us for our future generations to come
We need to lead a perfect example to our bloodline on how-to live-in Christ and how to let Him take control of every situation that we might be facing
If we carry on with pain and hurt, we shall pass it on to our bloodline and in turn creating generations of people that never get to experience the peace and justice of God
So, learn to forgive and surrender to God, if not for you at least do it for the peace and the future of your bloodline
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