LEARN TO SAY NO; A JOURNEY TO SELF LOVE

I wrote this blog post as I sat down and reflected on a quote, I once saw on Pinterest which read, “my success is because of what I said NO to”.

I think we can all agree that; self-growth comes with setting boundaries and knowing what’s right and wrong for our well-being.

Many times, we try to do everything for the sake of fitting into a societal publicized lifestyle which sometimes may even cost us our mental health.

The key here is learning to be very confrontational and actually developing a discipline of knowing that not everything the world has to offer requires us to give it our full attention and some things in life are just better left alone.

The beauty of actually developing a discipline of saying no to things that don’t actually serve you is that you develop a level of self-confidence and leave room for things that are actually meant for you/ to be in your life.

 If you grew up a people pleaser like me, this will be not as easy in the beginning, but practice makes perfect hey?

Through my self-growth journey, I came to a realization that if I needed to be content with myself, they are things that I needed to part ways with

I hope they also help you grow into the best version of yourself that you dream of becoming

ENTERTAINING NEGATIVE ENERGY- it doesn’t matter if they are your closest friend or relative

 People that are toxic are just not ones to keep close to us regardless of the nature of our relationship with them.

All they do is pull us down and slow our development process as they deem our light.

You deserve to have a company of people that will inspire you and push you to be the best version of yourself, and if they can’t do that, then what’s the point of keeping them around?

Sometimes the only thing that can be stopping you from a breakthrough maybe that person or those people that you keep around.

It is important to keep in mind that you are the company that you keep around and if it’s negative then it’s not worth your time.

BEING DEFINED BY PEOPLE’S OPINIONS- we live in a very opinionated culture were everyone has something to say about even the air we breathe lol.

It is easy to always move or make choices by the words other people or what other people think is best for you.

Take courage and learn to stand out, you are the author of your own story only God knows who you really are and not others.

It’s your life and you have the power through God to decide and know what is best for you and how you choose to live your life.

 Other than God, no one knows you better than you know yourself. Be confident to trust and know that your voice matters and you are unique in your own way

Block out other people’s negative opinions and start to live your best life to it’s fullest potential.

 BEING DEFINED BY SOCIETY’S STANDARDS OF BEAUTY- we all come in different skin tones, shapes and sizes as well as personality.

It is important to remember that life is not a one size fits all.

 Unfortunately, we allow ourselves to get insecure and measure our own beauty based on what is popular in the moment

 Or what’s trending and forget to remember that a trend is just what society makes of importance in the moment; it’s going to change at any time.

While we are allowed to sometimes participate in the trends that are happening in the moment

It is also important to remember to not be defined by them or place our value based on fleeting situations of this world.

First learn to love yourself to know that with or without the trend that everyone is embracing now, you will still be happy and know you’re valuable at the end of it all.

 Note to whoever is reading this, don’t make life changing decisions that you can’t go back and change based on what is cool in the moment.

ONE SIDED STORIES- only an insecure person would come to say something negative about someone and expect you keep it to yourself

 Develop a mind of learning to know people for who they are and not based on the stories that you have heard about them.

We end up missing out on knowing great people because we based our trust in judgmental people.

Allow yourself to have a heart of empathy to know the story behind why certain people act the way they do, who knows, you could be the solution to their problem.

The world is full of broken people with different backgrounds and upbringings

The least you can do a be a bright light in someone’s already complicated life and not be judgmental based on what you have heard about them.

Gossip is only but murder to someone’s character, don’t be the reason someone fails to live in full satisfaction based on stories about them they can’t control that people have opted to carry out as truth.

STRESSING OVER THINGS YOU CAN’T CONTROL- you did your part and it was enough now sit-back and watch the cards fall to place.

It is important to let go and let God, keeping in mind that you did your best in that moment and if it is His will, the best results will come back to you, and if not, the best things are yet to come.

As humans we sometimes get overwhelmed and want to control everything because we always want to fix things and that’s normal

But it’s also good to develop boundaries and know when to fight for something and when to sit still and watch it play out.

Sometimes, the solution is not us, it could be someone else or even better, God

You went for that interview and presented the most authentic version yourself?

You give the best answers possibly to that exam?

You expressed your emotions to someone and waiting for an answer?

Let it go , hope for the best don’t not stress over it. And if it was not what you expected, move on, maybe not then/ now but, someday, you will win in life, and that’s all you need to know.

FEAR- I must admit that some dreams/ goals are scary to start; especially if we want to excel at them and have no idea if we will be able to manage.

 It is important to develop faith in yourself and realize that God doesn’t give you what you can’t handle. Most of the times we fail to start things because we don’t have full confidence in ourselves.

Like I said in my pervious point, the outcome is not up to you to worry about, worry about doing what you have to do and leave the rest to God.

Fear sometimes comes from voices of other people not believing in us, but never stop being your biggest cheerleader

It is important to know before you start anything that no one wants you to succeed in it more than you.

So don’t fear, you got this, that dream was put in your heart for a reason, so don’t fail to start something because fear is holding you back

Believe in yourself and you will be able to see how you are capable of achieving things that you thought were far out of reach. 

PROCRASTINATION- assuming that we have more time is one of the most dangerous things we could ever do to ourselves.

 You don’t have later!!! what you have is right now, and make the best out of it. We often procrastinate because of the spirit of laziness.

Pray over it and find ways that will push you to be productive and motivate you to your goals. We miss out on so much opportunities because we think time is on outside.

In order for progress to also happen, we need to develop healthy habits.

Success is achieved not only because we did things that we loved, but also because we did things that had to be done.

I will also express this;

We live in a world where everything seems so fast paced that we forget that good things are achieved by a process

But with a healthy discipline we can set standards and achieve just about anything.

 Every decision that you make in your life should be because you know it’s the best thing you can make/do in that moment and not because it was imposed on you by someone.

But keep in mind that it is important in life to think of our emotional well-being first before anything else.

A lot of people do and will want to give us advice and yes sometimes it comes from a good place.

 But is always take to consideration if it is coming from a place of their fear that’s and why they don’t believe in us or if they are actually right

 keeping in mind however that the final decision comes from us, we have the power to say or no or give attention to whatever life throws at us.